Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dinosaurs Attack: Day Seventeen

(Click on images to view in stomach-turning full-size.)

Frank was crushed that the enemy had no respect for his hard-earned rank or riding crop.
We start Day 16 with one of the set's more notorious cards, and possibly the goriest image. Stepped on by a perfectly flat-footed dinosaur, our squashed General is not only roadkill, but now the rats are nibbling his remains... the horror, the humiliation! Well, he really should have looked both ways before crossing, and he certainly shouldn't have laid down in the road; what did he expect?

Below is another reason why this set wears the crown as the King of Bubblegum Cards. When her precious cats are threatened, Granny unloads both barrels of her handy shotgun into the lurking dino, completely blowing his eyeball and half his head away. I'm still amazed that these paintings got past the inevitable approval committee at Topps. I really don't think they would today, do you?

The curious creature suffered the same fate as so many other trespassers had.

Bonus: Sticker #4 teaches us some things we didn't know (pre-Jurassic Park) about the Brontosaurus. First, that he was a meat-eater. Second, that he could stand on his hind legs. Third, that he had a prehensile tail with which he could grab victims. And fourth, that he loved to feel blood and guts squishing between his toes. Or course, the back of the card supposedly tells us the "truth" about them, but we have visual evidence on the front what they were really like. And pictures don't lie, do they?

Next: Watch your head!

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