Burial Ground

(click image for hi-rez version)

You know you'd buy a ticket to see this movie.

(Note: Since not all visitors to "My Monster Memories" are aware of another, earlier blog i did called "Sweet Skulls," I will occasionally be importing some of the more suitable entries into this one. If you have read this already on "Sweet Skulls," I apologize, but if you haven't, you might enjoy it here!)

The poster for 1981's "Burial Ground" is a classic bit of zombie movie artwork where once again the promotional effort is better than the movie... in this case, a whole lot better. That is one cool poster!

"Wa-wa-wait! I'll shave it off if you don't like it!"

But that's not to say the movie is completely worthless... not by a long shot. It has it's merits and I still enjoy putting it on occasionally, which is more than can be said for some others. I'd put it slightly below "Hell of the Living Dead" and above "Nightmare City." The proximity it shares with these other titles should give you some inkling of the quality; it resides firmly in that murky swamp of "so bad it's good" territory. In fact, the things that make this movie bad are the very things that make it fun to watch.

"WHAT is that I'm feeling in my underwear?"

A professor researching a burial ground of the ancient Etruscans in Italy makes a discovery of some kind that amazes him. But the ascot-wearing Etruscans buried there want to keep their secrets, so they arise and begin killing and eating all they encounter. Luckily for them, several vacationing couples have come to the Professor's castle-like mansion (apparently he needed some extra money to keep up his research) and they are more interested in getting down than getting out alive. Below are some screen captures I made to share with you. The living characters aren't interesting enough for you to care when they die; their main function is to become zombie chow, so the zombies are my main focus. Oh, and "little" Michael... we certainly can't forget Michael. Who could, having seen him? He's creepier than the zombies, and all he wears is a bad wig.

"Mother, may I have some warm milk before going to bed?"

Michael, a strange man-child, has a thing for his mother, which is understandable; lots of young boys have lusted after their hottie mothers. But she encourages it; when he shows up in the room where she and her boyfriend are giving the bedsprings a workout, she leaps up out of the bed naked, sauntering across the room to grab a sheet and halfway drape herself with it. When all she had to do was cover up a little more while in bed! Yep, the stunted kid is messed up physically, but his emotional problems stem from her unwillingness to let him grow up. Her own neediness and insecurity cause him to be confused about his budding sexuality.

Or, he could just be a horny midget with a slutty mother.

"Oh, man, a maggot just crawled in my mouth! Yuuuk!"

The ease with which the dead are accidentally raised by the hirsute, hapless professor studying the Etruscan tombs seems to indicate that some cemeteries should display "Quiet: Do Not Disturb The Dead!" signs. At least in most of these films some explanation is attempted; Trioxin gas, space radiation, black-magic voodoo, Egyptian curses, biological viruses, etc., but here they just seem to come out because he was being a little too noisy... or nosy, perhaps.

"Boo-gah boo-gah boo-gah!"

The "make-up" of the zombies seems to be composed of slathered-on plaster, into which assorted teeth, hair, eyeballs and live worms are implanted. Then as the "actor" goes through his paces, the dried mud-like layers crack, to reveal red stuff below. Although the effect could work to portray dried-up corpses to good effect, the overdone, hand-molded result hardly resembles human skeletal anatomy at all. Blackened noses poke through the caked mud and blackened lips show plainly behind "teeth," all too obvious in the lingering close-ups. Other zombies are fresh-faced youth with only a little make-up, though, belying the idea that they have all been dead for centuries. However, the makeup is certainly better then the oatmeal-wearing things in "Nightmare City," which seems to indicate that they all died while eating breakfast and keeled over face first into their bowl of Quaker Oats.

His mother warned him that sunbathing without enough tanning lotion would make his skin peel.

The director makes an attempt to mimic Lucio Fulci's Zombie, both with the inclusion of live maggots and nightcrawlers on the makeup, and even the wood-in-the-eyeball gag, only this time it's a glass shard. But the silliness of the living, and the intelligence of the dead, take away any tension and replace it with amusement. The tool-using zombies are so smart that one expects them to soon figure out how to hotwire one of the cars and ram the door with it. The only reason they don't have to is the idiocy of the people inside, who all too soon put themselves on the menu.

Somehow I don't think this fellow looked much better when he was alive.

"Miss! Can you get me out of this mudpack? It's drying out and hurting my skin."

These Etruscans really knew the secret to fertilizing their flowers!

Refreshed from his little dirt nap in a planter, this zombie has an appetite for mayhem.

"Should we get in the car and drive away?"
"No, they'll be expecting us to do that!"

"What... is there something on my face?"

"I'm too sexy for my ascot."

"By the power of the pitchfork, I command you!"

"Oh, no, you did not just pull a rake on me!"

"Aw, come on, you're making it so easy it's not even fun any more!"

Considering the amount of live worms these guys carry around, they'd be very handy to take fishing.

One death that will have you chuckling rather than upchucking is when a maid sticks her head out of a window. One of the zombies below nails her hand to the window sill with a thrown spike, while another slowly reaches up with a scythe. Putting it above her head behind her neck, he very slo-o-o-wly brings it down and severs her head as smoothly and easily as if her neck were made of warm liverwurst. Yes, super-strong and intelligent. The people never had a chance.

This fan completely lost her head over Episode 3: "The Revenge of the Scythe."

"Is this bugging you? Is this bugging you?"

Near the end one of the female characters is surounded by the zombies who advance slowly with hands outstreached. Apparently the are just trying to freak her out, as once they are inches away they all just hold the position while she screams. Must have been waiting for the director to yell "cut!" but he probably was off behind the set wall quaffing down a pint or feeling up the script-girl.

Whoever this mysterious "Black Spider" is, I wouldn't trust the prophetic writings of someone so bad at spelling.

Here's a good review of the film from someone better at that sort of thing that I am... AllThings Zombie.

"Did they just call for lunch? I can't hear a thing through all this junk!"

I'm not convinced this kid ever actually became a zombie. He was just acting normally.

Who these hooded guys are in the church next door is never explained. Sheesh, this late in the movie and you want explanations? They're just zombies, okay?

1972 Gargoyles TV Movie

(Click on images to enlarge.)

He may be smiling on the outside, but on the inside, his heart is breaking.

In 1972, I was 13 years old, and spending the weekend at Grandma's house in Macon, Ga.  Fortunately, the made-for-TV movie"Gargoyles" was airing for the first time that night, and I when I saw the previews I knew I was in for a treat! Earlier in the evening we had enjoyed our usual supper, Krystal cheeseburgers that I had walked down the road to pick up, and after I spent awhile looking over my newest comic book and magazine acquisitions, we settled down to watch the movie. Looking back, those summer afternoons and evenings spent there were some of the best of my young life as I grew up.

"We paid a lot for this makeup, and we dang sure want to make sure you appreciate it."

The movie tells the story of a small group of Gargoyles, hidden in the Navada desert, who are on the verge of another 600 year hatching cycle. The struggle between man and lizard-like creatures flares up whenever this happens, but then the event is fogotten in history or relegated to myth. A couple of years back I was thrilled to find out that VCI had released the movie on DVD, and I immediately ordered it. The day I got it in the mail was a happy one, and I sat down to relive an experience from nearly 35 years before, Krystal cheeseburgers included. And did it ever take me back! The photos below are screen captures I made from the DVD that I think you will enjoy if you remember seeing the movie, and if not, it will give you an idea of why I enjoyed it so much back then, and even now when I take it out and watch it... as I did last night again.

"Watch out for those scary floating letters on the runway!"

There's no doubt but that this film was a TV movie from the early 70's, and it's because of that I enjoy it so. The whole look and feel return me to that time, the same as watching "Kung Fu", Kolchack: The Night Stalker," and the "Planet of the Apes" TV series. They all came out during that period of time that I was a young teen and any of them are able to take me back.

"Dang, my little girl's growing up! Look at those... careful there, Mercer."

Before the credits we hear the "Outer Limits" control voice, Vic Perrin, as he tells us the history over images of medievel art of devils and photos of gargoyle statues. (Perrin also does the voice of the lead gargoyle, dubbed in over Bernie Casey's acting, with a scratchy sound effect laid in.) We even get a glimpse of the main creature, as though they couldn't wait to reveal it. Obviously, they are proud of the makeup job and monster suits they paid for, as they take every opportunity to show them as prominently as possible, even in bright zipper-revealing close-ups in sunlight. Stan Winston's first break in the movies netted him an Emmy for the makeup effects, and little did I know as I watched the movie how often his work would later figure in so many of my favorite horror and sci-fi movies. (Spoiler alert: from here on out, if you don't want to know the details, just look at the pretty pictures and skim over the text.)

"I calls it "Nicatakachinko" which is injun fer "Makum Me Heap Big Wapum."

As the appropriately goopy-fonted credits play over a scene of a plane landing, we meet our hero, Dr. Mercer Boley, (played by Cornell Wilde) an anthropologist who specializes in the occult and demonology. His teen-age daughter Diana (hotly played by Jennifer Salt) arrives on the plane, and together they drive off into the Nevada desert to meet with an old man named Willie, who claims to have something of interest to show him. The item turns out to be a skeleton of what he claims was from a living creature, which Boley laughs off. But they still stay to interview him about his knowledge of local Indian exorcism rites, and after nightfall the shack is attacked by something that rips into the roof with claws. Willie is killed by a falling timber, knocking over the kerosene lamp and setting the shack ablaze. Unable to help poor old Uncle Willie, Boley and his daughter escape with the skull of the creature, fighting off a something big that leaps onto the roof of their car as they speed away.

Not a sight you want to see at the foot of your bed at night.

Later, after leaving their damaged car at a garage, they rent a motel room from Mrs. Parks (Grayson Hall, of "House of Dark Shadows" fame) and turn in. The next day they report Willie's death as an accident to the local police, who upon investigating find a group of dirt-bike riders at the scene and assume they are responsible. Feeling the police won't believe him, Boley doesn't tell them about the creature attack on the shack or their car, and the bikers are arrested.

During the night, two gargoyles break in to retrieve the skull, but as they escape one of them is hit and killed by a semi (which keeps going). Anxious to have proof of his new discovery, Boley wants to keep the body a secret from the police, even though it might prove the biker's innocence.

"Did anybody get that trucker's license number? Oh, man!"

"Pardon me, may I have the key to the restroom?"

However, the matter (and the body) is taken out of his hands as the gargoyles return in greater numbers that night to get the body of their fallen comrade, and in the process the winged leader (Bernie Casey) becomes turned on by Diane (like much of the teenage male viewing audience, including me) and takes her along with them as they return to their cave nest.

"Smells like Teen Spirit!"

Now, we'll get a good look at those costumes!

Mama Gorgoyle, picking up on her mate's infatuation with Diane, is unhappy, even though Daddy reassures her when she goes on the attack. She may be mollified for the moment, but she keeps an eye on her, and we know that's not the end of it.

"She don't mean nothin' to me, momma! I swear."

As a 13 year old boy, that little halter top and tight jeans Jennifer Salt wore stirred things in me that I had only begun to be aware of. She's still pretty hot to watch now, even 30 years later... in a 70's kind of way.

"Ah, I don't know... I'm finding this Stephen King a little dull."

The leader acts as if he wants Diana to teach him from the books they also grabbed, but he's really interested in getting closer to her, which doesn't go unnoticed by Mama. Meanwhile, Boley has alerted the police to his daughter's abduction, and they, along with the newly-freed bikers, take off in to the desert with hunting dogs to find her. Inside the cave, the latest brood of hatchlings is emerging from their eggs, the size and maturity of 7 or 8 year olds. As the posse near the cave, the gargoyles come out and attack them, killing several and running off the rest.

"Awww, just look at him... isn't he the most precious?"

The head gargoyle confronts Boley and tells him to follow him back to the cave if he wants to see his daughter. When they get there, he is informed that they will never leave. However, Mama has had enough of that little slut trying to steal her man, so she helps him to escape, no doubt hoping he'll take along the girl also. He's unable to rescue her, but he brings back the biker Reeger played by Scott Glenn, who brings with him two cans of gasoline. As they shoot their way into the cave, Boley rescues his daugher, but Reeger is overcome by gargoyles as he douses the egg chamber with gas. His last act is to flick his Bic and blow up the eggs before more can hatch.

"All we wanted was to live in peace... after the extinction of mankind. Was that too much to ask?"

At the mouth of the cave, the leader starts to fly off with Diana with Mama bringing up the rear, but Boley breaks her wing with a rock. Now the leader must fly her out, leaving Diana, if his kind is to survive. Why Boley let them go, knowing it might mean the end of mankind in the next 600 year breeding cycle, is a mystery. Perhaps he just felt sorry for them, and after all, he figured, mankind can take care of itself in 600 years when they have flying cars and all.

Amazing how he can fly them both with those little wings!

"After all that I need a shower. Want to join me, Diana?"

Nobody played the needy, lonesome alchoholic like Grayson Hall.

Of course, there's more that happens than in my quick run-down; you'll have to watch it for yourself if you can find it. All in all, this little made-for-tv movie was memorable, and well done. Sure, the efforts to show off the monster makeup and suits was a bit overdone, and the mood and effect would have been better served by a more shadowy, slower reveal. But, it is what it is, and we get to appreciate Stan Winton's first movie job in all it's rubbery glory. It sits right on my DVD shelf beside it's 70's companions "Colossus: The Forbin Project," "Kingdom of the Spiders," "The Devil's Rain" and "Frogs." All good 70's era fun that brings back the memories!

"I know, pride is my downfall, but don't I cut a striking figure?"

"No, I am not Lance Henrickson. Why does everyone always confuse me with that guy?"

Would you buy a stuffed Jackelope from this guy?

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this monster memory as much as I enjoyed bringing it to you.